my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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