i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Randomize
