So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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