when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
