Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
