before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
