no you cant smoke seaweed
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
