Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
