I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so explain again why im purple
no
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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