Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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