I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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