i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
