Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
