I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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