I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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