Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
