I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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