I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
