Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
