Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
