I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
