Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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