I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
