Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Randomize
