Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
