the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My friends, they love my intelligence
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
