At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
