New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
