A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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