you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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