Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize