apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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