did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize