I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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