I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
