Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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