So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i've created a new STD.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
