Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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