if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My feet surprised me
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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