I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
