Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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