sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
