The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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