so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
