No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
