Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Sorry about my life...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize