if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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