My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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