what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
