I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
