My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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