Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My ass is underappreciated
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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