It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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