I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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