So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
