also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
