I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize