no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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