the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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