You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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