Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
