called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
